How can Santa defend himself?












15














The world is full of grinches. Party-poopers who simply insist on taking the fun away from everybody else. They'll do everything they can to stop Santa from delivering his gifts — and too many of them work in militaries across the world.



What's amazing is that Santa is a really nice guy! He doesn't want to hurt anybody, but he has a job to do! And NORAD going out of their way to tell everybody where Santa is every second of the trip doesn't help.



Santa has access to his world-renowned workshop, but all he has in transit is his sled. It has a near infinite carrying capacity — but it is just a sled (with exposed reindeer... Dang...).



Question:  What can Santa do to defend himself from the world militaries of 2018?




  • Remember, all you have to work with is the sleigh and eight (OK, nine) reindeer. Santa can't send his elves to invade Somalia to nullify their military — or their pirates.


  • Santa won't hurt anyone, so whatever defenses you come up with must preserve human life.


  • Santa, the sleigh, and all the reindeer must survive the day.


  • Our grinches may want Santa dead, but their children probably don't. That means Santa is required to stop at every military base. He can't save his can by avoiding launch sites, ifyouknowwhatImean.











share|improve this question






















  • gocomics.com/two-party-opera/2018/12/24
    – nzaman
    yesterday






  • 2




    @nzaman Ah, nah, nah, nah, nah! This be Christmas. No politics (especially politics that don't answre the question), please. As a bar in my area recently posted on their marquee... Have a happy whatever-doesn't-offend-you!
    – JBH
    yesterday










  • If he travels at the speed of light, none of his enemies can see him coming until after he's gone. I don't believe modern military technology is built for a target like that.
    – Joe
    yesterday










  • @Joe, see my comment to Seperatix's answer. Today we can't "target" an incoming missle. It's not how we stop them.
    – JBH
    yesterday






  • 2




    Futurama 🎅 Santa
    – Evorlor
    yesterday
















15














The world is full of grinches. Party-poopers who simply insist on taking the fun away from everybody else. They'll do everything they can to stop Santa from delivering his gifts — and too many of them work in militaries across the world.



What's amazing is that Santa is a really nice guy! He doesn't want to hurt anybody, but he has a job to do! And NORAD going out of their way to tell everybody where Santa is every second of the trip doesn't help.



Santa has access to his world-renowned workshop, but all he has in transit is his sled. It has a near infinite carrying capacity — but it is just a sled (with exposed reindeer... Dang...).



Question:  What can Santa do to defend himself from the world militaries of 2018?




  • Remember, all you have to work with is the sleigh and eight (OK, nine) reindeer. Santa can't send his elves to invade Somalia to nullify their military — or their pirates.


  • Santa won't hurt anyone, so whatever defenses you come up with must preserve human life.


  • Santa, the sleigh, and all the reindeer must survive the day.


  • Our grinches may want Santa dead, but their children probably don't. That means Santa is required to stop at every military base. He can't save his can by avoiding launch sites, ifyouknowwhatImean.











share|improve this question






















  • gocomics.com/two-party-opera/2018/12/24
    – nzaman
    yesterday






  • 2




    @nzaman Ah, nah, nah, nah, nah! This be Christmas. No politics (especially politics that don't answre the question), please. As a bar in my area recently posted on their marquee... Have a happy whatever-doesn't-offend-you!
    – JBH
    yesterday










  • If he travels at the speed of light, none of his enemies can see him coming until after he's gone. I don't believe modern military technology is built for a target like that.
    – Joe
    yesterday










  • @Joe, see my comment to Seperatix's answer. Today we can't "target" an incoming missle. It's not how we stop them.
    – JBH
    yesterday






  • 2




    Futurama 🎅 Santa
    – Evorlor
    yesterday














15












15








15







The world is full of grinches. Party-poopers who simply insist on taking the fun away from everybody else. They'll do everything they can to stop Santa from delivering his gifts — and too many of them work in militaries across the world.



What's amazing is that Santa is a really nice guy! He doesn't want to hurt anybody, but he has a job to do! And NORAD going out of their way to tell everybody where Santa is every second of the trip doesn't help.



Santa has access to his world-renowned workshop, but all he has in transit is his sled. It has a near infinite carrying capacity — but it is just a sled (with exposed reindeer... Dang...).



Question:  What can Santa do to defend himself from the world militaries of 2018?




  • Remember, all you have to work with is the sleigh and eight (OK, nine) reindeer. Santa can't send his elves to invade Somalia to nullify their military — or their pirates.


  • Santa won't hurt anyone, so whatever defenses you come up with must preserve human life.


  • Santa, the sleigh, and all the reindeer must survive the day.


  • Our grinches may want Santa dead, but their children probably don't. That means Santa is required to stop at every military base. He can't save his can by avoiding launch sites, ifyouknowwhatImean.











share|improve this question













The world is full of grinches. Party-poopers who simply insist on taking the fun away from everybody else. They'll do everything they can to stop Santa from delivering his gifts — and too many of them work in militaries across the world.



What's amazing is that Santa is a really nice guy! He doesn't want to hurt anybody, but he has a job to do! And NORAD going out of their way to tell everybody where Santa is every second of the trip doesn't help.



Santa has access to his world-renowned workshop, but all he has in transit is his sled. It has a near infinite carrying capacity — but it is just a sled (with exposed reindeer... Dang...).



Question:  What can Santa do to defend himself from the world militaries of 2018?




  • Remember, all you have to work with is the sleigh and eight (OK, nine) reindeer. Santa can't send his elves to invade Somalia to nullify their military — or their pirates.


  • Santa won't hurt anyone, so whatever defenses you come up with must preserve human life.


  • Santa, the sleigh, and all the reindeer must survive the day.


  • Our grinches may want Santa dead, but their children probably don't. That means Santa is required to stop at every military base. He can't save his can by avoiding launch sites, ifyouknowwhatImean.








santa-claus self-defense






share|improve this question













share|improve this question











share|improve this question




share|improve this question










asked yesterday









JBH

38.7k585189




38.7k585189












  • gocomics.com/two-party-opera/2018/12/24
    – nzaman
    yesterday






  • 2




    @nzaman Ah, nah, nah, nah, nah! This be Christmas. No politics (especially politics that don't answre the question), please. As a bar in my area recently posted on their marquee... Have a happy whatever-doesn't-offend-you!
    – JBH
    yesterday










  • If he travels at the speed of light, none of his enemies can see him coming until after he's gone. I don't believe modern military technology is built for a target like that.
    – Joe
    yesterday










  • @Joe, see my comment to Seperatix's answer. Today we can't "target" an incoming missle. It's not how we stop them.
    – JBH
    yesterday






  • 2




    Futurama 🎅 Santa
    – Evorlor
    yesterday


















  • gocomics.com/two-party-opera/2018/12/24
    – nzaman
    yesterday






  • 2




    @nzaman Ah, nah, nah, nah, nah! This be Christmas. No politics (especially politics that don't answre the question), please. As a bar in my area recently posted on their marquee... Have a happy whatever-doesn't-offend-you!
    – JBH
    yesterday










  • If he travels at the speed of light, none of his enemies can see him coming until after he's gone. I don't believe modern military technology is built for a target like that.
    – Joe
    yesterday










  • @Joe, see my comment to Seperatix's answer. Today we can't "target" an incoming missle. It's not how we stop them.
    – JBH
    yesterday






  • 2




    Futurama 🎅 Santa
    – Evorlor
    yesterday
















gocomics.com/two-party-opera/2018/12/24
– nzaman
yesterday




gocomics.com/two-party-opera/2018/12/24
– nzaman
yesterday




2




2




@nzaman Ah, nah, nah, nah, nah! This be Christmas. No politics (especially politics that don't answre the question), please. As a bar in my area recently posted on their marquee... Have a happy whatever-doesn't-offend-you!
– JBH
yesterday




@nzaman Ah, nah, nah, nah, nah! This be Christmas. No politics (especially politics that don't answre the question), please. As a bar in my area recently posted on their marquee... Have a happy whatever-doesn't-offend-you!
– JBH
yesterday












If he travels at the speed of light, none of his enemies can see him coming until after he's gone. I don't believe modern military technology is built for a target like that.
– Joe
yesterday




If he travels at the speed of light, none of his enemies can see him coming until after he's gone. I don't believe modern military technology is built for a target like that.
– Joe
yesterday












@Joe, see my comment to Seperatix's answer. Today we can't "target" an incoming missle. It's not how we stop them.
– JBH
yesterday




@Joe, see my comment to Seperatix's answer. Today we can't "target" an incoming missle. It's not how we stop them.
– JBH
yesterday




2




2




Futurama 🎅 Santa
– Evorlor
yesterday




Futurama 🎅 Santa
– Evorlor
yesterday










10 Answers
10






active

oldest

votes


















27














Shame



Ever wondered why Santa Claus goes "ho ho ho"? Turns out it means exactly what you think it means. Santa keeps an additional naughty list of unfaithful married couples, especially those high in the political ladder and the military chain of command. One wrong move and the whole world gets to find out how much of a ho-ho-ho you or your spouse has been



Alternative "countermeasures"



For would-be grinches lower in prominence, Santa has other methods. Let it not be said that he's a one trick reindeer.



Santa has been utilising psyops long before there was even a NORAD. The commercialisation of Christmas was part of his master plan. All the trappings of Christmas, like gifting, endless jingles, Whamageddon etc, are a sustained DDoS(Distributed Disruption of Surliness) attack waged by the corporations who are really Santa's proxy botnet.



On the big day itself, Santa deploys his air force to clear the way. Using their powerful ECM(Extremely Childlike Merriness) packages, highly trained elf pilots flying dedicated strike festives perform SEAD(Shutting-up Extremely Annoying unDesirables) missions. They are supported by AWACS(Archaic Wassailing And Carolling Sleighs) craft who perform command and control duties over the airspace. These provide guidance and help out with their ECCM(Eggnog-Caused Conclusive Meliorism). NORAD never stood a chance.






share|improve this answer































    20














    Santa is the last active user of the SR71 defence mechanism, he's just too fast.



    A quick and dirty calculation of how many deliveries he has to make in a single night, and the distance he has to travel to make those deliveries, suggests that he's moving far faster than anyone is able to intercept.



    We might be able to track him, NORAD may know exactly where he is, but they've got nothing actually able to hit him.






    share|improve this answer





















    • You mean "intentionally hit him." Many missles today can't be hit by defensive tech. The basic premise of systems like the Phalanx CIWS is to put enough lead in the air that the missle hits something (not necessarily something hits the missle).
      – JBH
      yesterday






    • 4




      @JBH, I haven't done the calculations myself, but I believe at the speeds he's travelling hitting a raindrop could be lethal. He'll have to be pretty good at dodging things in the air.
      – Separatrix
      yesterday










    • Also, it won't be the missiles hitting him, it would be him hitting an almost stationary obstacle in the air...
      – cmaster
      yesterday










    • @JBH: It's not the speed, it's the acceleration. Santa's sleigh accelerates from zero to relativisticly significant fractions of c and back to zero again in the space of two houses.
      – Joshua
      22 hours ago






    • 1




      @JBH: At this point I'm busy looking up whether or not a kinetic collision with Santa's sleigh is we just nuked a city or not.
      – Joshua
      21 hours ago



















    15














    Santa is protected by mutual ensured destruction, the same force which arguably protected us during our nuclear infancy.



    It works like this...



    Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list.



    Without that incentive, those little rug rats would be completely uncontrollable.

    Destruction doesn't even begin to describe what they would do if anyone took out Saint Nick.



    Think about this, as parents, you are the source of every disciplinary scolding and every bottom swat that your children have ever received. ...and they know where you keep the butcher knives.



    NORAD doesn't admit it, but they send up a wing of fighter jets to escort and protect the sleigh while it is over US Protected airspace. Most of the other countries do the same, and CIA drones cover those countries which lack the good sense to put up their own defense.



    Santa does not have to worry about protection because the rest of us grown-ups worry for him. That is why parents always look so weary on Christmas morning. They have been up all night wishing...



    Merry Christmas To All and To Nick A Safe Flight!






    share|improve this answer



















    • 1




      OK! +1 for Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list. And all this time I've been worrying about a Zombie apocalypse!
      – JBH
      yesterday



















    7














    Counterintelligence and stealth technology.



    It is well established that Santa has to travel at the speed of fantasy to be able to deliver all the gifts in time around the world. The only way to catch him is using air force and radar.



    First of all his sledge is built with the latest stealth technology, which most of the radar cannot track. But the guys of NORAD have the technology to follow their own stealth planes, so something more is needed.



    His chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti radar technology, well hidden under the red coat, which offsets the radar echo tricking the NORAD into giving a false position.



    And just as additional measure, he makes sure to deliver the gifts first to the party-poopers, so that while they are busy unwrapping he can visit the rest of the area.






    share|improve this answer

















    • 1




      +1 just for his chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti-radar technology. I about choked on my hot chocolate from laughing.
      – JBH
      yesterday





















    4














    Nobody can actually track him



    It's been established that the speed and route that Santa has to take are, to put it lightly, absurd. But that's not any fun, and Santa knows this. To help him keep the christmas spirit in children while also accomplishing his job, Santa employs a significant number of look-alikes, drones, and other equipment.



    Some just need to look like a sleigh and reindeer, to let the children catch a glimpse. There's no way they'd be seeing him at an average speed of ridiculous, so these let them enjoy the magic while he does the actual magic.



    Some are more complex. Maybe with an additional set of reindeer and an elf in a replica sleigh. Or, more accurately, a replica of what people think the sleigh looks like. The actual sleigh is probably a bit different, given the abuse it has to endure.



    And there's even some that aren't meant to be seen by eyes. They give off the correct radar signature, and one of these is famously tracked by NORAD.



    Meanwhile, Santa zips around in an undetectable fashion, possibly breaking the laws of physics and/or time. While he knows he is perfectly safe on those counts, he likes the way people think of him, so he takes efforts to make sure he doens't spoil the magic. Plus, if a kid is awake, a well-timed drone outside the window can give him the opportunity to sneak in, eat the cookies, drink the milk, and drop off the presents without being seen.






    share|improve this answer





























      2














      Since Santa and the reindeer live at the North Pole for so long, they have evolved ways to not radiate so much body heat, internalizing it as much as possible. This makes it extremely difficult for heat seeking armaments to lock onto them.



      For radar... well, that sack probably has a ton of tinsel that can be used as chaff.



      And then there's the whole prospect of going down in history as the person that ended gifts for the whole world. Can't say that would make one popular. I highly doubt anyone will buy you a drink at the bar if you're the one that offed Santa.






      share|improve this answer








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      Bardicer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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        1














        What NORAD detects is a drone bogey to keep them occupied, while he uses a more discreet method of travel.

        And for that matter, the sleigh doesn't have infinite capacity, the sack does.






        share|improve this answer





















        • You've got a good point about the sack. But it's infinite by weight and volume. The sleigh, therefore, must have infinite weight capacity, but not necesarily volume.... Hmmm... that's almost worth a separate question... Except Santa must be capable of lifting the sack, which suggests weight-nullifying tech. Of course, if he can do it with the sack... I mean, come on, even eight reindeer would struggle against the full weight of the fat man, right?
          – JBH
          yesterday








        • 1




          @JBH: Hence why the sleigh and deer are for show. They couldn't possibly lift all that. Put 3 elves on top of each other and stuff 'em in a fat suit, then tie them onto the sleigh. The reindeer know the route they're supposed to take to keep the radar people busy
          – nzaman
          yesterday










        • @nzaman, oh those poor elves!
          – No Name
          22 hours ago



















        1














        Santa plays by Mutually Assured Destruction rules.



        We see the one sleigh he normally uses, but anybody who runs operations like this one has backups capable of completing the entire job just in case something goes down.



        Santa has to make not less than 233,000,000 stops, and travels between houses at an average speed of 1,800 miles per second. If we assume a smooth acceleration curve his peak velocity is double, but to make it more fair for the militaries of the world, we won't do that.



        Santa's sleigh must therefore possess 838,800,000,000 miles per second of delta V and some stupid huge TWR. If this is provided by fuel at all, it had better be some kind of mass cancelling magical storage because if it's ordinary antimatter I'd be amazed if the calculations don't work out to this being a planet buster. If someone takes him out, it had better be a clean kill, or any remaining reindeer are going to be panicked and ludicrously dangerous to approach.



        In any case, the elves with the backup sleighs will have no significant trouble demolishing the military might of the world by shockwaves alone. Somehow, Santa is cancelling his shockwaves from the stupid huge acceleration to keep the cities from being blown away. All the elves have to do is don't.






        share|improve this answer































          1














          People have tried to sneak up on Santa. As they have found out, he sees them when they're sleeping, he knows when they're awake.






          share|improve this answer





























            0














            Santa already has defenses! While their purpose is simply protection from the environment in which he operates they're plenty strong enough to shrug off anything the military of any nation can throw, up to and including a direct hit with a nuclear weapon. Even the biggest booms are nothing compared to the atmosphere at the speeds he must be moving in order to make his deliveries in a day and a half.






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              10 Answers
              10






              active

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              10 Answers
              10






              active

              oldest

              votes









              active

              oldest

              votes






              active

              oldest

              votes









              27














              Shame



              Ever wondered why Santa Claus goes "ho ho ho"? Turns out it means exactly what you think it means. Santa keeps an additional naughty list of unfaithful married couples, especially those high in the political ladder and the military chain of command. One wrong move and the whole world gets to find out how much of a ho-ho-ho you or your spouse has been



              Alternative "countermeasures"



              For would-be grinches lower in prominence, Santa has other methods. Let it not be said that he's a one trick reindeer.



              Santa has been utilising psyops long before there was even a NORAD. The commercialisation of Christmas was part of his master plan. All the trappings of Christmas, like gifting, endless jingles, Whamageddon etc, are a sustained DDoS(Distributed Disruption of Surliness) attack waged by the corporations who are really Santa's proxy botnet.



              On the big day itself, Santa deploys his air force to clear the way. Using their powerful ECM(Extremely Childlike Merriness) packages, highly trained elf pilots flying dedicated strike festives perform SEAD(Shutting-up Extremely Annoying unDesirables) missions. They are supported by AWACS(Archaic Wassailing And Carolling Sleighs) craft who perform command and control duties over the airspace. These provide guidance and help out with their ECCM(Eggnog-Caused Conclusive Meliorism). NORAD never stood a chance.






              share|improve this answer




























                27














                Shame



                Ever wondered why Santa Claus goes "ho ho ho"? Turns out it means exactly what you think it means. Santa keeps an additional naughty list of unfaithful married couples, especially those high in the political ladder and the military chain of command. One wrong move and the whole world gets to find out how much of a ho-ho-ho you or your spouse has been



                Alternative "countermeasures"



                For would-be grinches lower in prominence, Santa has other methods. Let it not be said that he's a one trick reindeer.



                Santa has been utilising psyops long before there was even a NORAD. The commercialisation of Christmas was part of his master plan. All the trappings of Christmas, like gifting, endless jingles, Whamageddon etc, are a sustained DDoS(Distributed Disruption of Surliness) attack waged by the corporations who are really Santa's proxy botnet.



                On the big day itself, Santa deploys his air force to clear the way. Using their powerful ECM(Extremely Childlike Merriness) packages, highly trained elf pilots flying dedicated strike festives perform SEAD(Shutting-up Extremely Annoying unDesirables) missions. They are supported by AWACS(Archaic Wassailing And Carolling Sleighs) craft who perform command and control duties over the airspace. These provide guidance and help out with their ECCM(Eggnog-Caused Conclusive Meliorism). NORAD never stood a chance.






                share|improve this answer


























                  27












                  27








                  27






                  Shame



                  Ever wondered why Santa Claus goes "ho ho ho"? Turns out it means exactly what you think it means. Santa keeps an additional naughty list of unfaithful married couples, especially those high in the political ladder and the military chain of command. One wrong move and the whole world gets to find out how much of a ho-ho-ho you or your spouse has been



                  Alternative "countermeasures"



                  For would-be grinches lower in prominence, Santa has other methods. Let it not be said that he's a one trick reindeer.



                  Santa has been utilising psyops long before there was even a NORAD. The commercialisation of Christmas was part of his master plan. All the trappings of Christmas, like gifting, endless jingles, Whamageddon etc, are a sustained DDoS(Distributed Disruption of Surliness) attack waged by the corporations who are really Santa's proxy botnet.



                  On the big day itself, Santa deploys his air force to clear the way. Using their powerful ECM(Extremely Childlike Merriness) packages, highly trained elf pilots flying dedicated strike festives perform SEAD(Shutting-up Extremely Annoying unDesirables) missions. They are supported by AWACS(Archaic Wassailing And Carolling Sleighs) craft who perform command and control duties over the airspace. These provide guidance and help out with their ECCM(Eggnog-Caused Conclusive Meliorism). NORAD never stood a chance.






                  share|improve this answer














                  Shame



                  Ever wondered why Santa Claus goes "ho ho ho"? Turns out it means exactly what you think it means. Santa keeps an additional naughty list of unfaithful married couples, especially those high in the political ladder and the military chain of command. One wrong move and the whole world gets to find out how much of a ho-ho-ho you or your spouse has been



                  Alternative "countermeasures"



                  For would-be grinches lower in prominence, Santa has other methods. Let it not be said that he's a one trick reindeer.



                  Santa has been utilising psyops long before there was even a NORAD. The commercialisation of Christmas was part of his master plan. All the trappings of Christmas, like gifting, endless jingles, Whamageddon etc, are a sustained DDoS(Distributed Disruption of Surliness) attack waged by the corporations who are really Santa's proxy botnet.



                  On the big day itself, Santa deploys his air force to clear the way. Using their powerful ECM(Extremely Childlike Merriness) packages, highly trained elf pilots flying dedicated strike festives perform SEAD(Shutting-up Extremely Annoying unDesirables) missions. They are supported by AWACS(Archaic Wassailing And Carolling Sleighs) craft who perform command and control duties over the airspace. These provide guidance and help out with their ECCM(Eggnog-Caused Conclusive Meliorism). NORAD never stood a chance.







                  share|improve this answer














                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer








                  edited 7 hours ago

























                  answered yesterday









                  nullpointer

                  4,48821031




                  4,48821031























                      20














                      Santa is the last active user of the SR71 defence mechanism, he's just too fast.



                      A quick and dirty calculation of how many deliveries he has to make in a single night, and the distance he has to travel to make those deliveries, suggests that he's moving far faster than anyone is able to intercept.



                      We might be able to track him, NORAD may know exactly where he is, but they've got nothing actually able to hit him.






                      share|improve this answer





















                      • You mean "intentionally hit him." Many missles today can't be hit by defensive tech. The basic premise of systems like the Phalanx CIWS is to put enough lead in the air that the missle hits something (not necessarily something hits the missle).
                        – JBH
                        yesterday






                      • 4




                        @JBH, I haven't done the calculations myself, but I believe at the speeds he's travelling hitting a raindrop could be lethal. He'll have to be pretty good at dodging things in the air.
                        – Separatrix
                        yesterday










                      • Also, it won't be the missiles hitting him, it would be him hitting an almost stationary obstacle in the air...
                        – cmaster
                        yesterday










                      • @JBH: It's not the speed, it's the acceleration. Santa's sleigh accelerates from zero to relativisticly significant fractions of c and back to zero again in the space of two houses.
                        – Joshua
                        22 hours ago






                      • 1




                        @JBH: At this point I'm busy looking up whether or not a kinetic collision with Santa's sleigh is we just nuked a city or not.
                        – Joshua
                        21 hours ago
















                      20














                      Santa is the last active user of the SR71 defence mechanism, he's just too fast.



                      A quick and dirty calculation of how many deliveries he has to make in a single night, and the distance he has to travel to make those deliveries, suggests that he's moving far faster than anyone is able to intercept.



                      We might be able to track him, NORAD may know exactly where he is, but they've got nothing actually able to hit him.






                      share|improve this answer





















                      • You mean "intentionally hit him." Many missles today can't be hit by defensive tech. The basic premise of systems like the Phalanx CIWS is to put enough lead in the air that the missle hits something (not necessarily something hits the missle).
                        – JBH
                        yesterday






                      • 4




                        @JBH, I haven't done the calculations myself, but I believe at the speeds he's travelling hitting a raindrop could be lethal. He'll have to be pretty good at dodging things in the air.
                        – Separatrix
                        yesterday










                      • Also, it won't be the missiles hitting him, it would be him hitting an almost stationary obstacle in the air...
                        – cmaster
                        yesterday










                      • @JBH: It's not the speed, it's the acceleration. Santa's sleigh accelerates from zero to relativisticly significant fractions of c and back to zero again in the space of two houses.
                        – Joshua
                        22 hours ago






                      • 1




                        @JBH: At this point I'm busy looking up whether or not a kinetic collision with Santa's sleigh is we just nuked a city or not.
                        – Joshua
                        21 hours ago














                      20












                      20








                      20






                      Santa is the last active user of the SR71 defence mechanism, he's just too fast.



                      A quick and dirty calculation of how many deliveries he has to make in a single night, and the distance he has to travel to make those deliveries, suggests that he's moving far faster than anyone is able to intercept.



                      We might be able to track him, NORAD may know exactly where he is, but they've got nothing actually able to hit him.






                      share|improve this answer












                      Santa is the last active user of the SR71 defence mechanism, he's just too fast.



                      A quick and dirty calculation of how many deliveries he has to make in a single night, and the distance he has to travel to make those deliveries, suggests that he's moving far faster than anyone is able to intercept.



                      We might be able to track him, NORAD may know exactly where he is, but they've got nothing actually able to hit him.







                      share|improve this answer












                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer










                      answered yesterday









                      Separatrix

                      76.2k30178303




                      76.2k30178303












                      • You mean "intentionally hit him." Many missles today can't be hit by defensive tech. The basic premise of systems like the Phalanx CIWS is to put enough lead in the air that the missle hits something (not necessarily something hits the missle).
                        – JBH
                        yesterday






                      • 4




                        @JBH, I haven't done the calculations myself, but I believe at the speeds he's travelling hitting a raindrop could be lethal. He'll have to be pretty good at dodging things in the air.
                        – Separatrix
                        yesterday










                      • Also, it won't be the missiles hitting him, it would be him hitting an almost stationary obstacle in the air...
                        – cmaster
                        yesterday










                      • @JBH: It's not the speed, it's the acceleration. Santa's sleigh accelerates from zero to relativisticly significant fractions of c and back to zero again in the space of two houses.
                        – Joshua
                        22 hours ago






                      • 1




                        @JBH: At this point I'm busy looking up whether or not a kinetic collision with Santa's sleigh is we just nuked a city or not.
                        – Joshua
                        21 hours ago


















                      • You mean "intentionally hit him." Many missles today can't be hit by defensive tech. The basic premise of systems like the Phalanx CIWS is to put enough lead in the air that the missle hits something (not necessarily something hits the missle).
                        – JBH
                        yesterday






                      • 4




                        @JBH, I haven't done the calculations myself, but I believe at the speeds he's travelling hitting a raindrop could be lethal. He'll have to be pretty good at dodging things in the air.
                        – Separatrix
                        yesterday










                      • Also, it won't be the missiles hitting him, it would be him hitting an almost stationary obstacle in the air...
                        – cmaster
                        yesterday










                      • @JBH: It's not the speed, it's the acceleration. Santa's sleigh accelerates from zero to relativisticly significant fractions of c and back to zero again in the space of two houses.
                        – Joshua
                        22 hours ago






                      • 1




                        @JBH: At this point I'm busy looking up whether or not a kinetic collision with Santa's sleigh is we just nuked a city or not.
                        – Joshua
                        21 hours ago
















                      You mean "intentionally hit him." Many missles today can't be hit by defensive tech. The basic premise of systems like the Phalanx CIWS is to put enough lead in the air that the missle hits something (not necessarily something hits the missle).
                      – JBH
                      yesterday




                      You mean "intentionally hit him." Many missles today can't be hit by defensive tech. The basic premise of systems like the Phalanx CIWS is to put enough lead in the air that the missle hits something (not necessarily something hits the missle).
                      – JBH
                      yesterday




                      4




                      4




                      @JBH, I haven't done the calculations myself, but I believe at the speeds he's travelling hitting a raindrop could be lethal. He'll have to be pretty good at dodging things in the air.
                      – Separatrix
                      yesterday




                      @JBH, I haven't done the calculations myself, but I believe at the speeds he's travelling hitting a raindrop could be lethal. He'll have to be pretty good at dodging things in the air.
                      – Separatrix
                      yesterday












                      Also, it won't be the missiles hitting him, it would be him hitting an almost stationary obstacle in the air...
                      – cmaster
                      yesterday




                      Also, it won't be the missiles hitting him, it would be him hitting an almost stationary obstacle in the air...
                      – cmaster
                      yesterday












                      @JBH: It's not the speed, it's the acceleration. Santa's sleigh accelerates from zero to relativisticly significant fractions of c and back to zero again in the space of two houses.
                      – Joshua
                      22 hours ago




                      @JBH: It's not the speed, it's the acceleration. Santa's sleigh accelerates from zero to relativisticly significant fractions of c and back to zero again in the space of two houses.
                      – Joshua
                      22 hours ago




                      1




                      1




                      @JBH: At this point I'm busy looking up whether or not a kinetic collision with Santa's sleigh is we just nuked a city or not.
                      – Joshua
                      21 hours ago




                      @JBH: At this point I'm busy looking up whether or not a kinetic collision with Santa's sleigh is we just nuked a city or not.
                      – Joshua
                      21 hours ago











                      15














                      Santa is protected by mutual ensured destruction, the same force which arguably protected us during our nuclear infancy.



                      It works like this...



                      Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list.



                      Without that incentive, those little rug rats would be completely uncontrollable.

                      Destruction doesn't even begin to describe what they would do if anyone took out Saint Nick.



                      Think about this, as parents, you are the source of every disciplinary scolding and every bottom swat that your children have ever received. ...and they know where you keep the butcher knives.



                      NORAD doesn't admit it, but they send up a wing of fighter jets to escort and protect the sleigh while it is over US Protected airspace. Most of the other countries do the same, and CIA drones cover those countries which lack the good sense to put up their own defense.



                      Santa does not have to worry about protection because the rest of us grown-ups worry for him. That is why parents always look so weary on Christmas morning. They have been up all night wishing...



                      Merry Christmas To All and To Nick A Safe Flight!






                      share|improve this answer



















                      • 1




                        OK! +1 for Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list. And all this time I've been worrying about a Zombie apocalypse!
                        – JBH
                        yesterday
















                      15














                      Santa is protected by mutual ensured destruction, the same force which arguably protected us during our nuclear infancy.



                      It works like this...



                      Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list.



                      Without that incentive, those little rug rats would be completely uncontrollable.

                      Destruction doesn't even begin to describe what they would do if anyone took out Saint Nick.



                      Think about this, as parents, you are the source of every disciplinary scolding and every bottom swat that your children have ever received. ...and they know where you keep the butcher knives.



                      NORAD doesn't admit it, but they send up a wing of fighter jets to escort and protect the sleigh while it is over US Protected airspace. Most of the other countries do the same, and CIA drones cover those countries which lack the good sense to put up their own defense.



                      Santa does not have to worry about protection because the rest of us grown-ups worry for him. That is why parents always look so weary on Christmas morning. They have been up all night wishing...



                      Merry Christmas To All and To Nick A Safe Flight!






                      share|improve this answer



















                      • 1




                        OK! +1 for Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list. And all this time I've been worrying about a Zombie apocalypse!
                        – JBH
                        yesterday














                      15












                      15








                      15






                      Santa is protected by mutual ensured destruction, the same force which arguably protected us during our nuclear infancy.



                      It works like this...



                      Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list.



                      Without that incentive, those little rug rats would be completely uncontrollable.

                      Destruction doesn't even begin to describe what they would do if anyone took out Saint Nick.



                      Think about this, as parents, you are the source of every disciplinary scolding and every bottom swat that your children have ever received. ...and they know where you keep the butcher knives.



                      NORAD doesn't admit it, but they send up a wing of fighter jets to escort and protect the sleigh while it is over US Protected airspace. Most of the other countries do the same, and CIA drones cover those countries which lack the good sense to put up their own defense.



                      Santa does not have to worry about protection because the rest of us grown-ups worry for him. That is why parents always look so weary on Christmas morning. They have been up all night wishing...



                      Merry Christmas To All and To Nick A Safe Flight!






                      share|improve this answer














                      Santa is protected by mutual ensured destruction, the same force which arguably protected us during our nuclear infancy.



                      It works like this...



                      Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list.



                      Without that incentive, those little rug rats would be completely uncontrollable.

                      Destruction doesn't even begin to describe what they would do if anyone took out Saint Nick.



                      Think about this, as parents, you are the source of every disciplinary scolding and every bottom swat that your children have ever received. ...and they know where you keep the butcher knives.



                      NORAD doesn't admit it, but they send up a wing of fighter jets to escort and protect the sleigh while it is over US Protected airspace. Most of the other countries do the same, and CIA drones cover those countries which lack the good sense to put up their own defense.



                      Santa does not have to worry about protection because the rest of us grown-ups worry for him. That is why parents always look so weary on Christmas morning. They have been up all night wishing...



                      Merry Christmas To All and To Nick A Safe Flight!







                      share|improve this answer














                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer








                      edited 6 hours ago









                      Community

                      1




                      1










                      answered yesterday









                      Henry Taylor

                      44.3k869163




                      44.3k869163








                      • 1




                        OK! +1 for Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list. And all this time I've been worrying about a Zombie apocalypse!
                        – JBH
                        yesterday














                      • 1




                        OK! +1 for Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list. And all this time I've been worrying about a Zombie apocalypse!
                        – JBH
                        yesterday








                      1




                      1




                      OK! +1 for Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list. And all this time I've been worrying about a Zombie apocalypse!
                      – JBH
                      yesterday




                      OK! +1 for Santa is the only reason why children even attempt to stay off the naughty list. And all this time I've been worrying about a Zombie apocalypse!
                      – JBH
                      yesterday











                      7














                      Counterintelligence and stealth technology.



                      It is well established that Santa has to travel at the speed of fantasy to be able to deliver all the gifts in time around the world. The only way to catch him is using air force and radar.



                      First of all his sledge is built with the latest stealth technology, which most of the radar cannot track. But the guys of NORAD have the technology to follow their own stealth planes, so something more is needed.



                      His chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti radar technology, well hidden under the red coat, which offsets the radar echo tricking the NORAD into giving a false position.



                      And just as additional measure, he makes sure to deliver the gifts first to the party-poopers, so that while they are busy unwrapping he can visit the rest of the area.






                      share|improve this answer

















                      • 1




                        +1 just for his chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti-radar technology. I about choked on my hot chocolate from laughing.
                        – JBH
                        yesterday


















                      7














                      Counterintelligence and stealth technology.



                      It is well established that Santa has to travel at the speed of fantasy to be able to deliver all the gifts in time around the world. The only way to catch him is using air force and radar.



                      First of all his sledge is built with the latest stealth technology, which most of the radar cannot track. But the guys of NORAD have the technology to follow their own stealth planes, so something more is needed.



                      His chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti radar technology, well hidden under the red coat, which offsets the radar echo tricking the NORAD into giving a false position.



                      And just as additional measure, he makes sure to deliver the gifts first to the party-poopers, so that while they are busy unwrapping he can visit the rest of the area.






                      share|improve this answer

















                      • 1




                        +1 just for his chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti-radar technology. I about choked on my hot chocolate from laughing.
                        – JBH
                        yesterday
















                      7












                      7








                      7






                      Counterintelligence and stealth technology.



                      It is well established that Santa has to travel at the speed of fantasy to be able to deliver all the gifts in time around the world. The only way to catch him is using air force and radar.



                      First of all his sledge is built with the latest stealth technology, which most of the radar cannot track. But the guys of NORAD have the technology to follow their own stealth planes, so something more is needed.



                      His chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti radar technology, well hidden under the red coat, which offsets the radar echo tricking the NORAD into giving a false position.



                      And just as additional measure, he makes sure to deliver the gifts first to the party-poopers, so that while they are busy unwrapping he can visit the rest of the area.






                      share|improve this answer












                      Counterintelligence and stealth technology.



                      It is well established that Santa has to travel at the speed of fantasy to be able to deliver all the gifts in time around the world. The only way to catch him is using air force and radar.



                      First of all his sledge is built with the latest stealth technology, which most of the radar cannot track. But the guys of NORAD have the technology to follow their own stealth planes, so something more is needed.



                      His chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti radar technology, well hidden under the red coat, which offsets the radar echo tricking the NORAD into giving a false position.



                      And just as additional measure, he makes sure to deliver the gifts first to the party-poopers, so that while they are busy unwrapping he can visit the rest of the area.







                      share|improve this answer












                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer










                      answered yesterday









                      L.Dutch

                      75.6k24181369




                      75.6k24181369








                      • 1




                        +1 just for his chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti-radar technology. I about choked on my hot chocolate from laughing.
                        – JBH
                        yesterday
















                      • 1




                        +1 just for his chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti-radar technology. I about choked on my hot chocolate from laughing.
                        – JBH
                        yesterday










                      1




                      1




                      +1 just for his chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti-radar technology. I about choked on my hot chocolate from laughing.
                      – JBH
                      yesterday






                      +1 just for his chubby appearance is a clever disguise for a secret anti-radar technology. I about choked on my hot chocolate from laughing.
                      – JBH
                      yesterday













                      4














                      Nobody can actually track him



                      It's been established that the speed and route that Santa has to take are, to put it lightly, absurd. But that's not any fun, and Santa knows this. To help him keep the christmas spirit in children while also accomplishing his job, Santa employs a significant number of look-alikes, drones, and other equipment.



                      Some just need to look like a sleigh and reindeer, to let the children catch a glimpse. There's no way they'd be seeing him at an average speed of ridiculous, so these let them enjoy the magic while he does the actual magic.



                      Some are more complex. Maybe with an additional set of reindeer and an elf in a replica sleigh. Or, more accurately, a replica of what people think the sleigh looks like. The actual sleigh is probably a bit different, given the abuse it has to endure.



                      And there's even some that aren't meant to be seen by eyes. They give off the correct radar signature, and one of these is famously tracked by NORAD.



                      Meanwhile, Santa zips around in an undetectable fashion, possibly breaking the laws of physics and/or time. While he knows he is perfectly safe on those counts, he likes the way people think of him, so he takes efforts to make sure he doens't spoil the magic. Plus, if a kid is awake, a well-timed drone outside the window can give him the opportunity to sneak in, eat the cookies, drink the milk, and drop off the presents without being seen.






                      share|improve this answer


























                        4














                        Nobody can actually track him



                        It's been established that the speed and route that Santa has to take are, to put it lightly, absurd. But that's not any fun, and Santa knows this. To help him keep the christmas spirit in children while also accomplishing his job, Santa employs a significant number of look-alikes, drones, and other equipment.



                        Some just need to look like a sleigh and reindeer, to let the children catch a glimpse. There's no way they'd be seeing him at an average speed of ridiculous, so these let them enjoy the magic while he does the actual magic.



                        Some are more complex. Maybe with an additional set of reindeer and an elf in a replica sleigh. Or, more accurately, a replica of what people think the sleigh looks like. The actual sleigh is probably a bit different, given the abuse it has to endure.



                        And there's even some that aren't meant to be seen by eyes. They give off the correct radar signature, and one of these is famously tracked by NORAD.



                        Meanwhile, Santa zips around in an undetectable fashion, possibly breaking the laws of physics and/or time. While he knows he is perfectly safe on those counts, he likes the way people think of him, so he takes efforts to make sure he doens't spoil the magic. Plus, if a kid is awake, a well-timed drone outside the window can give him the opportunity to sneak in, eat the cookies, drink the milk, and drop off the presents without being seen.






                        share|improve this answer
























                          4












                          4








                          4






                          Nobody can actually track him



                          It's been established that the speed and route that Santa has to take are, to put it lightly, absurd. But that's not any fun, and Santa knows this. To help him keep the christmas spirit in children while also accomplishing his job, Santa employs a significant number of look-alikes, drones, and other equipment.



                          Some just need to look like a sleigh and reindeer, to let the children catch a glimpse. There's no way they'd be seeing him at an average speed of ridiculous, so these let them enjoy the magic while he does the actual magic.



                          Some are more complex. Maybe with an additional set of reindeer and an elf in a replica sleigh. Or, more accurately, a replica of what people think the sleigh looks like. The actual sleigh is probably a bit different, given the abuse it has to endure.



                          And there's even some that aren't meant to be seen by eyes. They give off the correct radar signature, and one of these is famously tracked by NORAD.



                          Meanwhile, Santa zips around in an undetectable fashion, possibly breaking the laws of physics and/or time. While he knows he is perfectly safe on those counts, he likes the way people think of him, so he takes efforts to make sure he doens't spoil the magic. Plus, if a kid is awake, a well-timed drone outside the window can give him the opportunity to sneak in, eat the cookies, drink the milk, and drop off the presents without being seen.






                          share|improve this answer












                          Nobody can actually track him



                          It's been established that the speed and route that Santa has to take are, to put it lightly, absurd. But that's not any fun, and Santa knows this. To help him keep the christmas spirit in children while also accomplishing his job, Santa employs a significant number of look-alikes, drones, and other equipment.



                          Some just need to look like a sleigh and reindeer, to let the children catch a glimpse. There's no way they'd be seeing him at an average speed of ridiculous, so these let them enjoy the magic while he does the actual magic.



                          Some are more complex. Maybe with an additional set of reindeer and an elf in a replica sleigh. Or, more accurately, a replica of what people think the sleigh looks like. The actual sleigh is probably a bit different, given the abuse it has to endure.



                          And there's even some that aren't meant to be seen by eyes. They give off the correct radar signature, and one of these is famously tracked by NORAD.



                          Meanwhile, Santa zips around in an undetectable fashion, possibly breaking the laws of physics and/or time. While he knows he is perfectly safe on those counts, he likes the way people think of him, so he takes efforts to make sure he doens't spoil the magic. Plus, if a kid is awake, a well-timed drone outside the window can give him the opportunity to sneak in, eat the cookies, drink the milk, and drop off the presents without being seen.







                          share|improve this answer












                          share|improve this answer



                          share|improve this answer










                          answered 21 hours ago









                          Andon

                          7,78322054




                          7,78322054























                              2














                              Since Santa and the reindeer live at the North Pole for so long, they have evolved ways to not radiate so much body heat, internalizing it as much as possible. This makes it extremely difficult for heat seeking armaments to lock onto them.



                              For radar... well, that sack probably has a ton of tinsel that can be used as chaff.



                              And then there's the whole prospect of going down in history as the person that ended gifts for the whole world. Can't say that would make one popular. I highly doubt anyone will buy you a drink at the bar if you're the one that offed Santa.






                              share|improve this answer








                              New contributor




                              Bardicer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.























                                2














                                Since Santa and the reindeer live at the North Pole for so long, they have evolved ways to not radiate so much body heat, internalizing it as much as possible. This makes it extremely difficult for heat seeking armaments to lock onto them.



                                For radar... well, that sack probably has a ton of tinsel that can be used as chaff.



                                And then there's the whole prospect of going down in history as the person that ended gifts for the whole world. Can't say that would make one popular. I highly doubt anyone will buy you a drink at the bar if you're the one that offed Santa.






                                share|improve this answer








                                New contributor




                                Bardicer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                                Check out our Code of Conduct.





















                                  2












                                  2








                                  2






                                  Since Santa and the reindeer live at the North Pole for so long, they have evolved ways to not radiate so much body heat, internalizing it as much as possible. This makes it extremely difficult for heat seeking armaments to lock onto them.



                                  For radar... well, that sack probably has a ton of tinsel that can be used as chaff.



                                  And then there's the whole prospect of going down in history as the person that ended gifts for the whole world. Can't say that would make one popular. I highly doubt anyone will buy you a drink at the bar if you're the one that offed Santa.






                                  share|improve this answer








                                  New contributor




                                  Bardicer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                                  Check out our Code of Conduct.









                                  Since Santa and the reindeer live at the North Pole for so long, they have evolved ways to not radiate so much body heat, internalizing it as much as possible. This makes it extremely difficult for heat seeking armaments to lock onto them.



                                  For radar... well, that sack probably has a ton of tinsel that can be used as chaff.



                                  And then there's the whole prospect of going down in history as the person that ended gifts for the whole world. Can't say that would make one popular. I highly doubt anyone will buy you a drink at the bar if you're the one that offed Santa.







                                  share|improve this answer








                                  New contributor




                                  Bardicer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                                  Check out our Code of Conduct.









                                  share|improve this answer



                                  share|improve this answer






                                  New contributor




                                  Bardicer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                                  Check out our Code of Conduct.









                                  answered yesterday









                                  Bardicer

                                  1212




                                  1212




                                  New contributor




                                  Bardicer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                                  Check out our Code of Conduct.





                                  New contributor





                                  Bardicer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                                  Check out our Code of Conduct.






                                  Bardicer is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                                  Check out our Code of Conduct.























                                      1














                                      What NORAD detects is a drone bogey to keep them occupied, while he uses a more discreet method of travel.

                                      And for that matter, the sleigh doesn't have infinite capacity, the sack does.






                                      share|improve this answer





















                                      • You've got a good point about the sack. But it's infinite by weight and volume. The sleigh, therefore, must have infinite weight capacity, but not necesarily volume.... Hmmm... that's almost worth a separate question... Except Santa must be capable of lifting the sack, which suggests weight-nullifying tech. Of course, if he can do it with the sack... I mean, come on, even eight reindeer would struggle against the full weight of the fat man, right?
                                        – JBH
                                        yesterday








                                      • 1




                                        @JBH: Hence why the sleigh and deer are for show. They couldn't possibly lift all that. Put 3 elves on top of each other and stuff 'em in a fat suit, then tie them onto the sleigh. The reindeer know the route they're supposed to take to keep the radar people busy
                                        – nzaman
                                        yesterday










                                      • @nzaman, oh those poor elves!
                                        – No Name
                                        22 hours ago
















                                      1














                                      What NORAD detects is a drone bogey to keep them occupied, while he uses a more discreet method of travel.

                                      And for that matter, the sleigh doesn't have infinite capacity, the sack does.






                                      share|improve this answer





















                                      • You've got a good point about the sack. But it's infinite by weight and volume. The sleigh, therefore, must have infinite weight capacity, but not necesarily volume.... Hmmm... that's almost worth a separate question... Except Santa must be capable of lifting the sack, which suggests weight-nullifying tech. Of course, if he can do it with the sack... I mean, come on, even eight reindeer would struggle against the full weight of the fat man, right?
                                        – JBH
                                        yesterday








                                      • 1




                                        @JBH: Hence why the sleigh and deer are for show. They couldn't possibly lift all that. Put 3 elves on top of each other and stuff 'em in a fat suit, then tie them onto the sleigh. The reindeer know the route they're supposed to take to keep the radar people busy
                                        – nzaman
                                        yesterday










                                      • @nzaman, oh those poor elves!
                                        – No Name
                                        22 hours ago














                                      1












                                      1








                                      1






                                      What NORAD detects is a drone bogey to keep them occupied, while he uses a more discreet method of travel.

                                      And for that matter, the sleigh doesn't have infinite capacity, the sack does.






                                      share|improve this answer












                                      What NORAD detects is a drone bogey to keep them occupied, while he uses a more discreet method of travel.

                                      And for that matter, the sleigh doesn't have infinite capacity, the sack does.







                                      share|improve this answer












                                      share|improve this answer



                                      share|improve this answer










                                      answered yesterday









                                      nzaman

                                      9,18511444




                                      9,18511444












                                      • You've got a good point about the sack. But it's infinite by weight and volume. The sleigh, therefore, must have infinite weight capacity, but not necesarily volume.... Hmmm... that's almost worth a separate question... Except Santa must be capable of lifting the sack, which suggests weight-nullifying tech. Of course, if he can do it with the sack... I mean, come on, even eight reindeer would struggle against the full weight of the fat man, right?
                                        – JBH
                                        yesterday








                                      • 1




                                        @JBH: Hence why the sleigh and deer are for show. They couldn't possibly lift all that. Put 3 elves on top of each other and stuff 'em in a fat suit, then tie them onto the sleigh. The reindeer know the route they're supposed to take to keep the radar people busy
                                        – nzaman
                                        yesterday










                                      • @nzaman, oh those poor elves!
                                        – No Name
                                        22 hours ago


















                                      • You've got a good point about the sack. But it's infinite by weight and volume. The sleigh, therefore, must have infinite weight capacity, but not necesarily volume.... Hmmm... that's almost worth a separate question... Except Santa must be capable of lifting the sack, which suggests weight-nullifying tech. Of course, if he can do it with the sack... I mean, come on, even eight reindeer would struggle against the full weight of the fat man, right?
                                        – JBH
                                        yesterday








                                      • 1




                                        @JBH: Hence why the sleigh and deer are for show. They couldn't possibly lift all that. Put 3 elves on top of each other and stuff 'em in a fat suit, then tie them onto the sleigh. The reindeer know the route they're supposed to take to keep the radar people busy
                                        – nzaman
                                        yesterday










                                      • @nzaman, oh those poor elves!
                                        – No Name
                                        22 hours ago
















                                      You've got a good point about the sack. But it's infinite by weight and volume. The sleigh, therefore, must have infinite weight capacity, but not necesarily volume.... Hmmm... that's almost worth a separate question... Except Santa must be capable of lifting the sack, which suggests weight-nullifying tech. Of course, if he can do it with the sack... I mean, come on, even eight reindeer would struggle against the full weight of the fat man, right?
                                      – JBH
                                      yesterday






                                      You've got a good point about the sack. But it's infinite by weight and volume. The sleigh, therefore, must have infinite weight capacity, but not necesarily volume.... Hmmm... that's almost worth a separate question... Except Santa must be capable of lifting the sack, which suggests weight-nullifying tech. Of course, if he can do it with the sack... I mean, come on, even eight reindeer would struggle against the full weight of the fat man, right?
                                      – JBH
                                      yesterday






                                      1




                                      1




                                      @JBH: Hence why the sleigh and deer are for show. They couldn't possibly lift all that. Put 3 elves on top of each other and stuff 'em in a fat suit, then tie them onto the sleigh. The reindeer know the route they're supposed to take to keep the radar people busy
                                      – nzaman
                                      yesterday




                                      @JBH: Hence why the sleigh and deer are for show. They couldn't possibly lift all that. Put 3 elves on top of each other and stuff 'em in a fat suit, then tie them onto the sleigh. The reindeer know the route they're supposed to take to keep the radar people busy
                                      – nzaman
                                      yesterday












                                      @nzaman, oh those poor elves!
                                      – No Name
                                      22 hours ago




                                      @nzaman, oh those poor elves!
                                      – No Name
                                      22 hours ago











                                      1














                                      Santa plays by Mutually Assured Destruction rules.



                                      We see the one sleigh he normally uses, but anybody who runs operations like this one has backups capable of completing the entire job just in case something goes down.



                                      Santa has to make not less than 233,000,000 stops, and travels between houses at an average speed of 1,800 miles per second. If we assume a smooth acceleration curve his peak velocity is double, but to make it more fair for the militaries of the world, we won't do that.



                                      Santa's sleigh must therefore possess 838,800,000,000 miles per second of delta V and some stupid huge TWR. If this is provided by fuel at all, it had better be some kind of mass cancelling magical storage because if it's ordinary antimatter I'd be amazed if the calculations don't work out to this being a planet buster. If someone takes him out, it had better be a clean kill, or any remaining reindeer are going to be panicked and ludicrously dangerous to approach.



                                      In any case, the elves with the backup sleighs will have no significant trouble demolishing the military might of the world by shockwaves alone. Somehow, Santa is cancelling his shockwaves from the stupid huge acceleration to keep the cities from being blown away. All the elves have to do is don't.






                                      share|improve this answer




























                                        1














                                        Santa plays by Mutually Assured Destruction rules.



                                        We see the one sleigh he normally uses, but anybody who runs operations like this one has backups capable of completing the entire job just in case something goes down.



                                        Santa has to make not less than 233,000,000 stops, and travels between houses at an average speed of 1,800 miles per second. If we assume a smooth acceleration curve his peak velocity is double, but to make it more fair for the militaries of the world, we won't do that.



                                        Santa's sleigh must therefore possess 838,800,000,000 miles per second of delta V and some stupid huge TWR. If this is provided by fuel at all, it had better be some kind of mass cancelling magical storage because if it's ordinary antimatter I'd be amazed if the calculations don't work out to this being a planet buster. If someone takes him out, it had better be a clean kill, or any remaining reindeer are going to be panicked and ludicrously dangerous to approach.



                                        In any case, the elves with the backup sleighs will have no significant trouble demolishing the military might of the world by shockwaves alone. Somehow, Santa is cancelling his shockwaves from the stupid huge acceleration to keep the cities from being blown away. All the elves have to do is don't.






                                        share|improve this answer


























                                          1












                                          1








                                          1






                                          Santa plays by Mutually Assured Destruction rules.



                                          We see the one sleigh he normally uses, but anybody who runs operations like this one has backups capable of completing the entire job just in case something goes down.



                                          Santa has to make not less than 233,000,000 stops, and travels between houses at an average speed of 1,800 miles per second. If we assume a smooth acceleration curve his peak velocity is double, but to make it more fair for the militaries of the world, we won't do that.



                                          Santa's sleigh must therefore possess 838,800,000,000 miles per second of delta V and some stupid huge TWR. If this is provided by fuel at all, it had better be some kind of mass cancelling magical storage because if it's ordinary antimatter I'd be amazed if the calculations don't work out to this being a planet buster. If someone takes him out, it had better be a clean kill, or any remaining reindeer are going to be panicked and ludicrously dangerous to approach.



                                          In any case, the elves with the backup sleighs will have no significant trouble demolishing the military might of the world by shockwaves alone. Somehow, Santa is cancelling his shockwaves from the stupid huge acceleration to keep the cities from being blown away. All the elves have to do is don't.






                                          share|improve this answer














                                          Santa plays by Mutually Assured Destruction rules.



                                          We see the one sleigh he normally uses, but anybody who runs operations like this one has backups capable of completing the entire job just in case something goes down.



                                          Santa has to make not less than 233,000,000 stops, and travels between houses at an average speed of 1,800 miles per second. If we assume a smooth acceleration curve his peak velocity is double, but to make it more fair for the militaries of the world, we won't do that.



                                          Santa's sleigh must therefore possess 838,800,000,000 miles per second of delta V and some stupid huge TWR. If this is provided by fuel at all, it had better be some kind of mass cancelling magical storage because if it's ordinary antimatter I'd be amazed if the calculations don't work out to this being a planet buster. If someone takes him out, it had better be a clean kill, or any remaining reindeer are going to be panicked and ludicrously dangerous to approach.



                                          In any case, the elves with the backup sleighs will have no significant trouble demolishing the military might of the world by shockwaves alone. Somehow, Santa is cancelling his shockwaves from the stupid huge acceleration to keep the cities from being blown away. All the elves have to do is don't.







                                          share|improve this answer














                                          share|improve this answer



                                          share|improve this answer








                                          edited 21 hours ago

























                                          answered 21 hours ago









                                          Joshua

                                          1,026510




                                          1,026510























                                              1














                                              People have tried to sneak up on Santa. As they have found out, he sees them when they're sleeping, he knows when they're awake.






                                              share|improve this answer


























                                                1














                                                People have tried to sneak up on Santa. As they have found out, he sees them when they're sleeping, he knows when they're awake.






                                                share|improve this answer
























                                                  1












                                                  1








                                                  1






                                                  People have tried to sneak up on Santa. As they have found out, he sees them when they're sleeping, he knows when they're awake.






                                                  share|improve this answer












                                                  People have tried to sneak up on Santa. As they have found out, he sees them when they're sleeping, he knows when they're awake.







                                                  share|improve this answer












                                                  share|improve this answer



                                                  share|improve this answer










                                                  answered 8 hours ago









                                                  Walter Mitty

                                                  41527




                                                  41527























                                                      0














                                                      Santa already has defenses! While their purpose is simply protection from the environment in which he operates they're plenty strong enough to shrug off anything the military of any nation can throw, up to and including a direct hit with a nuclear weapon. Even the biggest booms are nothing compared to the atmosphere at the speeds he must be moving in order to make his deliveries in a day and a half.






                                                      share|improve this answer


























                                                        0














                                                        Santa already has defenses! While their purpose is simply protection from the environment in which he operates they're plenty strong enough to shrug off anything the military of any nation can throw, up to and including a direct hit with a nuclear weapon. Even the biggest booms are nothing compared to the atmosphere at the speeds he must be moving in order to make his deliveries in a day and a half.






                                                        share|improve this answer
























                                                          0












                                                          0








                                                          0






                                                          Santa already has defenses! While their purpose is simply protection from the environment in which he operates they're plenty strong enough to shrug off anything the military of any nation can throw, up to and including a direct hit with a nuclear weapon. Even the biggest booms are nothing compared to the atmosphere at the speeds he must be moving in order to make his deliveries in a day and a half.






                                                          share|improve this answer












                                                          Santa already has defenses! While their purpose is simply protection from the environment in which he operates they're plenty strong enough to shrug off anything the military of any nation can throw, up to and including a direct hit with a nuclear weapon. Even the biggest booms are nothing compared to the atmosphere at the speeds he must be moving in order to make his deliveries in a day and a half.







                                                          share|improve this answer












                                                          share|improve this answer



                                                          share|improve this answer










                                                          answered 21 hours ago









                                                          Loren Pechtel

                                                          18.8k2260




                                                          18.8k2260






























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